I really tried to enter my ‘Atonement’ ceremony with a level head, to stay calm and not let the anxiety wash over me like I knew it was going to do the moment that I walked into that room. It wasn’t that I wasn’t doing well. I thought I was moving along quite steadily in my studies, but this was another mandatory part of becoming an official member of The Order and obtaining the highest level of Initiation. I didn’t want to bite off more than I could chew, I wanted to ensure that I was prepred. Bottoming on the regular is one thing, but to hop from peg to peg down that contraption was a daunting task in and of itself.

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